1. On your phone there is:
a) The number for Dan Murphy’s or another big retail chain.
b) The number of a local specialist wine retailer.
c) The numbers of a few negociants, wineries and importers.
d) The mobile numbers of Robert Parker and James Halliday.
2. Your web browser favourites or bookmarks include:
a) http://wineweek.com.au
b) http://winelibrary.tv/ and http://winefront.com.au/
c) http://www.erobertparker.com/
d) your own wine blog.
3. Your collection of previously drunk bottles include:
a) Anything that hasn’t been picked up by the recycling truck.
b) The first bottle of Grange you opened.
c) A selection of Burgundy, Bordeaux and Australian arranged by vintage.
d) A selection of wines from your own ‘hobby’ vineyard.
4. Before opening a wine you check to see if:
a) The bottle is at the right temperature.
b) it is within the recommended drinking window according to Oliver or Parker.
c) you have two bottles in case the first is corked.
d) you have two bottles so that you can rinse your stemware with the same wine as you will be drinking.
5. Côtes du Rhône is:
a) In France.
b) The home to some wonderful red & white grape blends.
c) Overpriced since the big American decided he liked E. Guigal.
d) Where your holiday home is located.
6. Looking at your collection of wine, your friends first notice:
a) The red capsules from all the bottles of Penfolds.
b) Your collection is broken up by grape variety.
c) Your collection is broken up by country of origin.
d) The temperature and humidity gauges present between each row in the cellar.
7. When asked to sample the first pour of wine at a restaurant you:
a) Take a sip and see if it’s any good.
b) Take careful note for any hint of old, musty cardboard or dead fruit .
c) Mentally compare it to previous bottles you’ve had from the same vintage.
d) Ask to select another bottle yourself due to a hint of bottle shock possibly due to sub-optimal carriage from the cellar to your table.
8. Champagne is:
a) Overpriced compared to domestic sparkling wine.
b) Un-matched when it comes to vintages from the big houses.
c) Under scrutiny since the borders of the Appellation were increased.
d) The source of wailing and tears every-time you see a racing car driver shaking up an Imperial.
9. Your travel plans:
a) Include stop overs to wineries in the area.
b) Are planned around visiting specific wine regions.
c) Are preceded by ensuring you have letters of introduction to the great houses.
d) Are feared or loved by wineries in the region, depending on your view of the barrel samples they offer.
10. When you order wine you generally:
a) Check to see what’s on special.
b) Check to see what new releases the wine merchant has just received.
c) Place your orders en-primeur.
d) Mark the barrels you have approved for your selection.
11. The Barossa Valley is:
a) In South Australia.
b) The home of some of brilliant shiraz.
c) Home to some of the oldest vines on the planet.
d) Home to some friends who own vineyards.
12. When the weather gets hot you:
a) Drink more whites and rosés.
b) Worry about the temperature of your wine at home.
c) Call your wine salesperson and ask them to ‘hold’ your last order until it cools down outside.
d) Call the vineyards and offer to help them pick during the night.
13. When you go out you always carry:
a) A corkscrew.
b) A notebook for your tasting notes.
c) Your netbook or iPhone to twitter your tasting notes in real time.
c) Your Sommelier range Riedel glasses in a Pelican flight case.
14. When a friend calls to ask for a wine recommendation you usually:
a) Ask them for their price range, and recommend accordingly.
b) Ask them for the food they will be serving, and recommend accordingly.
c) Ask them for their favourite flower, spice or seasoning and recommend wine and food to match.
d) Ask them for their favourite piece of music or artwork and recommend wine, food and guests to match.
15. While taking this quiz you:
a) Laughed at the absurdity of some of the possible answers.
b) Laughed awkwardly at some of the possible answers.
c) Nodded sagely at the truth of some of the answers.
d) Found yourself mentally scoring the quiz on both the 20 point and 100 point scale.
The Results…
Mostly A’s
You’re a wine drinker. Probably above Sir Les Patterson, but lacking in pretension none the less. You probably have a few bottles of wine lying around home, but mostly buy what you like and drink it soon after. Nothing wrong with that!
Mostly B’s
You’re on your way to being seriously addicted to wine. Your friends probably talk about your wine fetish behind your back – but at least they know you’re not an alcoholic because you savour the grape juice rather than just downing it like 2 buck chuck. You are desperate to find new, better wine each week – keep looking!
Mostly C’s
You are not so much a wine consumer as consumed by wine. It fills your every thought, and probably every spare space around your home. Chances are if you haven’t converted the shed or your first born’s bedroom into a dedicated, climate controlled cellar you’ve at least drawn up plans to do so. Seek professional help, and we don’t mean with a wine merchant.
Mostly D’s
Love doesn’t describe your relationship with wine. It’s so far beyond that. Every moment of every day is measured by the wine that accompanies it. If you don’t own a winery now, you’ve probably got an offer on one, or have just sold one. Remember though, the best way to make a small fortune with a winery is to start with a large fortune!
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